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  • Fr.Terry Ryan, CSP

A Friend


A Friend What is a friend? I used to think it was someone who made me happy. Duh. That scores a 100% on the Selfish Meter. Being happy with a friend requires a lot of me. Like what? Like giving them time to be listened to. Time and listening is important. Listen to what? If my friend talks about her weaknesses, ask her about her gifts. If she talks about her needs, ask her about her mission or purpose in life. If she thinks she has none, I need to note her gifts, unique to herself. We are all unique as givers, and all the same as takers. In all this my hope is that she knows she is loved, valued and precious. If she seeks any guidance, I must be on my own spiritual path so that I do not desire to possess, control or manipulate her. Finally, I must be living what I say I believe, or else there will be no trust. All this makes me the best person I can be, not perfect, but a lot better than scoring 100% on the Selfish Meter. When I am the best I can be, or moving toward it with someone then I am happy. I will be even happier if my friend cares to listen to me. That is when the friendship deepens and bonds. When people come to me and want to talk about their life, problems, difficulties, I can be of service which is good spiritual practice. But as we all know, if one person is doing all the talking, and it is about themselves, you may be of service but it won't be with a friend.

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